December 22, 2003

• hi people this is my last xanga entry for ever cause i think i noticed
  everything about my life.... i only think about myself..... i make
  people feel like shit.... i dont care about other ppl..... and like
  tayler says im a fool maybe the biggest shes ever seen..... OK I WANT
  ME TO ADMIT?! IM A FUCKING FOOL NO NOT A FOOD A FUCKING IDIOT....... u
  think i want ur simpathy ? u think i only look for sympathy? fuck no i
  dont look for sympathy..... well enough about that...... i think the
  only options i got now is to die.... ay i lived a good life..... 14 1/2
  years....... i made my mom and dad happy to an extent and i took care
  of my sisters good......
  fuck i dont know y im crying now while im making this entry
  i just wanted to be a good friend to my friends or so called
  "friends"  but i always mess everything up... tayler was a good
  friend and was like a sister but i fucked it all up..... robyn was a
  friend but again i fucked it up...... lauren was a friend but again i
  fucked it up.... matthew was a friend but again i fucked it up... god
  was my friend but NOW I FUCKED IT UP.... i fuck up everything....
  wuts the use in living when no1 even likes u and cares about u? Y?
  y live when you are nothing to everyone who is an anyone?
  y dont i just die and let every1 be in peace and have no stress?

  only person now who i think would love to see me die is tayler......
  well im sorry world for being wut i am.... i just want to be a normal
  person but i gess its too hard of a challenge...... so im gonna go and
  try to rest my soul in a place full of pain and sorrow and death.....
  
  how beautiful the last sunset is... forever will i miss watching the sun go down....
  for ever will i miss my mom and dad saying i love you
  forever will i miss trent and tyler saying hey swata
  forever will i miss my sisters saying hey little bro
  forever will i miss april saying hey hun....
  forever will i miss angela saying thanks for praying
  forever will i miss tayler saying lyab
  forever will i miss tayler
  and last but not least i will forever miss saying these words
  "dear heavenly father thank you for this beautiful day please be with
  me today and be with all my friends like tyler and trent and sheren and
  april and kylie and jimmy and tayler and corey please be witth them and
  not let them be sick lord please i care for them all..... please be
  with them... be with my fathers asthma and my moms smoking problem....
  father please take care of them, in jesus name i pray... amen"

  • 3:56 am
  • 4 Comments