life i noticed is something that is very precious we shouldnt take advantage of it or use it carelessly we only get one life on this earth…. we should live life to da fullest… i tried to destroy my life by killing myself but i noticed going the easy way out is stupid i have the face my fears and handle all da pain and sorrow face to face and that i should hurt my friends by leaving them like this…. i noticed life and love is one of the strongest forces ever….. you cant live life without loving someone or something…… well i just want to say to people… dont commit suicide cause its dumb and your a coward if you do… your gettin scared and your a pussy cause u cant face life and all its problems you should jsut live life like your supposed to cause god made it like that and one day it will get a lot better believe me and if you dont believe me believe god and he will help you make it through the hard times….

im outz now

currently listening to : Liz Phair – Why Can’t I

// + me…..
[1]name – Stanford
[2]nicknames – ummm… stanly…… and salad
[3]college plans – umm idk….
[4]birthday – July 14 , 1989
[5]birthplace – Honolulu, Hawaii
[6]horoscope sign – heh?
[7]siblings – 3 older sisters, and 1 older brother
[8]parents – yes
[9]best friends – currently one……
[10]hair color – black
[11]eye color – super dark brown
[12]glasses/contacts – heck no
[13]height – 5′ 6″
[14]piercings – soon my ears
[15]righty/lefty/or ambidextrous – right?
[16]whats one thing you would change about yourself – my suicidal part of me
[17]whats your most comfortable piece of clothing – my hot topic jeans
[18]song to describe your life –
// + SOCiAL LiFE
[19]where would you usually be found – at home on da comp
[20]who would you be with – friends
[21]are you the center of attention – hardly
[22]whats your idea of a dream date – beach
[23]are you timely or always late – mostly timely if late I call
[24]wheres the best hangout – MOVIES!!!!
[25]do you like being around people or alone – I like being alone when I can actually be happy
[26]which ex induces the gag reflex – wtf?
[27]whats your biggest turn-off in the opposite sex – anorexic…. Or smokin
[28]do you argue the most with – my mom
[29]do you always get along with – my teddy bears!!!
[30]is the most trustworthy – tayler, and jimmy
[31]makes you laugh the most – tayler, funny
[32]has been there through all the hard times – tayler, and jimmy
[33]always has a man/woman – heh?
[34]biggest loser – me
[35]most unique – ummm rico cause hes funny trynna moon walk!! U CAN DO IT RICO!!!
[36]has the coolest house – idk….
[37]is the most encouraging – idk….
[38]is the shyest – umm….can I pass?
[39]is the most outgoing – ME!!!
[40]is the most horniest – jimmy
[41]is the most perfect – hmm…. Tila nguyen?
[42]is the laziest – isn’t every1 lazy?
[43]is most likely to end up in jail – maybe me…
[44]will get married first – JIMMY!!!!
[45]will lose their virginity first – umm…. Rico?
[46]always wears a smile – ummm… idk..
[47]is the smartest – CHELSEY!!!
[48]would, without thinking, die for you – my sister
[49]is the biggest flirt – umm…
[50]needs a good man/woman – doesn’t every1 need one?
[51]has the best fashion sense – im not gay
[56]best form of entertainment – singing, raving, and playing cs!! And makin ppl laugh at my retardedness
// + FAVORiTEz
[57]color – any kind of blue… except aqua and u cant forget red
[58]animal – the devil of the sea ( mantaray) a.k.a sting ray
[59]book – ummm any kind of horror or romance
[60]tv show – umm….. rugrats?
[61]movie – srry to say this but it might be a walk to remember… or timeline
[62]band – sum41, simple plan, rammstein, and u cant forget Michael Jackson!!
[63]music videos – heh…… shinwa’s music video called all your dreams
[64]holiday – new years
[65]vacation – California, korea, japan
[66]number – 13, 420, 69
[67]soda – sprite
[68]candy – no candy really…
[69]fast food place – mc donalds I ges…?
[70]alcoholic beverage – soju, sake, or bud
[71]disney movie – LION KING OR LITTLE MERMAID!!! AND BEAUTY AND THE BEAST
[72]odd make out spot – idk….
[73]amusement park – none
[74]thing to do when your bored – dream about life or love….
[75]concert – I went to Michael jackons and rolling stones!!!!!
[76]pick-up line – umm….. if I bought you a ball would u kick it with me? If I bought you a watch would u spend time with me? If I was a mortocycle would you ride me?
// + STUPiD QUESTiONz
[77]have you ever been suspected of committing a crime – yes but I really did it and I got arrested… damnit and I was sent to dh for a week
[78]how long duz it take you to get ready to go out – 10-15 mins
[79]what super power would you want – teleporter
[80]do you make fun of your friends – yea for fun but dey know I playin
[81]words or phrases you use – awww man…. Oooo man…. O shiet….. FAWK
[82]do you enjoy talking to yourself – not really
[83]whats your biggest fear – breaking up
[84]whats your prized possesion – the girl I love
[85]whats the funniest word you can think of – kesupalopa
[86]what songs bring back the most memories – a song for mama – boys 2 men
[87]who/what are you thankful for – mainly everything except death
[88]do you believe in fate – yes
[89]do you get along with your parents – no
[90]what time do you go to bed – around 12 am
[91]if you were stranded on a desert island…who would you wanna be stuck with – the girl I like
[92]if you were given one day to live…what would you do – tell the girl I love I love her and spend the day with her
[93]whats your best physical feature – raving?
[94]how have you changed in the past year – ummm not so mean…… and I got a bit taller!!!
// + THE PAST
[95]first grade teacher – Mrs. Asatani
[97]last song you sang – Cute without the E – Taking back Sunday
{98}song stuck in your head – Boys of Summer – The Ataris
[99]last person who chatted with – tayler
[100] last movie you saw – timeline
// + THE FUTURE
[101]who do you want to marry – umm… some1 I like
[102]are you going to college – yes
[103]where do you want to go – somewhere in cali
[104]what is your career going to be – PROFESSIONAL RAVER!!! Or a marine bioligist
[105]where are u gonna live? – cali or korea
[106]]how many kids do you want – don’t matter as long as I fall in love and have kids its koo
[107]kid’s names – lol I don’t know
[108]what kinda car will you have – GDB!!!!! Or a cadilac srx!!!
[109]age are you going to get married – b4 i turn 27
[110]now that this survey is over, what did you think of it – FUN!!! I wish it had more questions

You know what I noticed? You never know how much you love something or someone until its actually gone…. You don’t  appreciate it until its gone from this earth…. Nothing now to you is worth anything cause you take everything for granted….. until its gone….. life is taken for granted cause death is everywhere cause every 8 seconds somewhere on this earth someone commits suicide….. and every 5 seconds 10 people die…. Every 9 seconds 4 people are born…… life is everywhere but death overwhelms life…. Like they say u will go to heaven…. But what really happens in the opposite? Is it a place where bad people go? Is it a place where non believers go? Is it a place where people like me go? How bout a place where I can actually rest?…….. this world was made for on purpose… to love…. And to receive love….. but Lucifer changed it around… only to receive love… to receive gods love…. Not to give love……. We receive gods love but we cant truly love him in return……………….. I think if I was like god I would put it this way… I love this girl but of course as usual  there is no love in return I gess my love is like the earth…. Big special and fucked up…….. maybe I should get rid of my love…….. my life runs on love…. Maybe I will get rid of my life..and I know that many people will be sooo happy knowing that I left this world.. hey today is thanks giving!! People will be thanking god that I left this earth……… don’t love me cause you think its right…. Don’t help me cause u think its right…. Don’t talk to me cause  I look lonely…. Help me and love me and care for me and talk to me cause you really want to………. Don’t feel sorry…… don’t feel sorry for me or any1 like me cause I know you are only sorry for the brief moment when that short moment is gone……… you wont care or U WONT GIVE A FUCK….. no1 does…. Do u make a difference? FUCK NO I don’t think so………. Life is taken for granted…….. and so is death… people think their lives are bad? I mean I know I say mine is bad but every so often I remember about the starving kids in Africa they don’t even have the money to immunize them from curable diseases it only costs 50 cents to do it but they don’t have the money so they end up dying… but do u care? I don’t think so did u ever think of that b4? I don’t think so…. If people fear death…. Then y don’t they just kill dem selves now? Cause its gonna come soon… like for me its coming really soon……. Well life was good as it was…..fun…….

Reasons y to die….

1. teeny from hma always tells me to kill myself


2. my mom smokes and its slowly killing me


3. my dad is never here in Hawaii to talk to me


4. my sisters are all away from me


5. life sucks


6. girls suck


7. friends suck


8. family sucks


9. everything in this world sucks


10. love sucks

 

reasons y to live

1. razor blades


2. blood


3. knives


4. guns

ay people try read this!! this is the girl i like tayler and look wut she said!!!

 

MoNkEyPoOpOoDuDe: good bye
aZn t3ddy b34r: u killed me long time ago
aZn t3ddy b34r: y try loving a girl when she will never love you in return?
MoNkEyPoOpOoDuDe: idk
MoNkEyPoOpOoDuDe: please jus leave so i won’t hurt ne more

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

good bye world……

hey well today i just wanted to say from now i wanna change i know its gonna take a long process but im gonna try it…. im gonna stop swearing and being mean and i wanan turn my life to god… i wanna change for the better me….. i wanna stop being a pest and a b*tch to ppl…… so im gonna change and i just want some help…. i already have taylers help and jimmy’s help i just want to thank you guys……

 

 

7:48 – 8:00 pm i watched summer scent soo sad… the ending i amlost cried…….

i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you…… i like you………. i dont like you……. i like you…… i dont like you……  i like you…….

Y must I dig myself in a deeper hole…. Y must I hurt myself everytime? Y do I do things I know I cant accomplish? Y do I fall in love yet I know I wont receive her love in return? Y do I persist to continue to love her? Y do I feel like shit when shes sad even though its not my fault? Y do I feel like crying when shes crying? Why do I dream about her everyday? Why do I think about her everyday? And every second of my life? Why do I continute to talk to you even though I know you don’t like it……. Y do I continue to fall for you? Y do I keep on loving you? Y do I keep thinking about you? Y do I feel so dazed when I see you picture? Y do I feel so happy when I talk to you? Y do I feel so wonderful when you say nice things about me?  Y am I writing this to you? Y am I telling you my feelings? For the last time y do I love you?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Because I choose to……

 

 

hi people right now its early in the morning like almost one and i just watched rules of attraction the movie is pretty good except the fact that it has gay ppl in it….. so yea… lol well umm… another good reason is it has a lot of its sex scenes and they are all pretty good not that bad… well also that movie has jessica biel and it shows her doing it so that aint that bad!! ^^ lol well hmm…..   all day today ive been waiting for the one i love to go on aim but she didnt go on aim i hope shes okay… i hope nothing happened to her….. i just want to tell her i love her….. omg today was like some kind of community service day and ahahah me rico junya tyler and jeremy went to some old ladies house first we didnt think it was that bad but damn when we actually saw the house dude there was like 1 million leaves to be raked up and there were like tall grass to be cut down by ricos bush wacker i mean weed whacker lol……. well jeremy was like raking leaves and then this toad jumped out towards him LMAO and he got scared ahahah lol and then they didnt want to work….. lol thats funny….. well yea we worked there for 4 hours and we finished cleaning we did a  good job!!! lol well umm… i went to etopia after for like 4 hours not that bad but bored now nothing to do so i think im gonna draw or something….. or write a poem nothing else to do…. well ttyl!!!

 

well how is it? i tried to draw a ocean sunset idk if i did good though…. well leave a comment on how u think i drew thsi pic

p34c3

did you ever love some1 soo much that it actually hurt thinking thta you would never get a chance to be with him/her well to me it hurts kinna but not all that much… did u ever love some1 soo much that u would give up everything just to be with her/him? well i do……. did u ever love some1 so muchyou would give up your life jsut to save him/her?…. well i feel that way…. all these feelings i feel for her………

but there is no way in showing her this cause she loves another person….. well i gotta go now but i just wanna say i love you….

hey people today was not so fun kinna boring a matter of fact… dude it was fucking boring to be honest man this day was the fucking day that i wont forget cause now im fucking pissed and i wanna die…. i think this might be my last entry ever….. i wanan die and i wanna leave this fucking cold world…..

 

fuck every1

 

lets see how much people care!!! this is convos on aim

this is how much trent cares

adORabLEkiTTy420: if i was to die wut would u do?
hAcKs sLyJoKeR 0: idk ur not dead
hAcKs sLyJoKeR 0: i cant picture u dead

this is how much travis cares

adORabLEkiTTy420: if i was to die wut would u do?
KingOfHearts0777: call 911 or something

thsi is how much jodie cares

adORabLEkiTTy420: if i was to die wut would u do?
goKRAZY725: ahhhhh
goKRAZY725: dont sey that!

this is how much kaitlin cares

adORabLEkiTTy420: if i was to die wut would u do?
HaYn HuN 8o8: brb
HaYn HuN 8o8 signed off at 10:25:45 PM.

wow she doesnt acre very much

thsi si how much kaliko cares

adORabLEkiTTy420: if i was to die wut would u do?
kaL I k oGUrl34: idk
kaL I k oGUrl34: y?

this is how much josh cares

adORabLEkiTTy420: if i was to die wut would u do?
xx Matsuda xx: go to ur funeral
xx Matsuda xx: and ask how u died

this is how much ryan cares

adORabLEkiTTy420: if i was to die wut would u do?
MaJiKal Bob: uhh
MaJiKal Bob: get angry?

this is how much mindy cares

adORabLEkiTTy420: if i was to die wut would u do?
bAbYgUrLy59: well how would i know?
bAbYgUrLy59: but…if u were to die i’d feel sad

thsi si how much joie cares

adORabLEkiTTy420: if i was to die wut would u do?
joieboi48: iunno i can’t imagine ne one our age dying

 

ahahah no1 even cares how funny!! lmao!!! lol well im gonna ask more ppl for the next 2 days and stuff and then im most likely gonna go through major depression then i wanna kill ma self and die…

 

 

 

 

heres a story i wrote

tayler ur sis hates me lol thats funny ok well the story u made was pretty good i got a story kinna like dat well here it is

this girl named mina is a nice korean girl shes 19 shes very generous and cute and thoughtful shes in love with a guy…… she spent everydya with him… slowly he started to get tired of her… mina’s friends started to notice that so they told her… she didnt want to accept the truth so she tried harder to get his attention again… he started to graze away from her… she souldnt stop crying knowing she lost her love…

3 months later

mina found another love… it wasnt as good as her 1st but it was still good they were in love talking on the phone during the night ouut together during the day…. as the days closed in he took her out to dinner…. there at the dinner table he told her some shocking news….. he told her that hes in love with her best friend…….  she was shocked beyong belief……. she felt like crying.. but she held it in she started to tell him shes happy for him when deep inside she was crying and getting ripped apart……. she went home that day angry and sad and depressed… she went to the kitchen and oopened the drawer and took out the knife….. she put the blade next to her arm.. she slowly moved it across her arm making a little cut about 3 inches long…. slowly this red line started to appear…. slowly more blood came out…. she screamed in pain as she dropped the knife on the floor… the first couple drops of blood fell in the floor as she screamed….. this was the beggining of the cutting….

1 year and 3 months later

now mina is depressed and isnt very thoughtful or kind at all…… but finally she got it out of her she loved once more… she broke out of the depression and started to love again for the first time in a year she fell in love and she was actually happy again she thought she would never feel love ever again…. she was waiting at home bored… she wanted to go to his work to surprise him… so she went in her car to surprise him and she left….

*the work place*

she arrives and opens the door… she looks around and finally spots him… when she starts to go towards him she sees a girl infront of him… they were talking first so she just thought of watching them for a while… they were just talking and laughing and she asked him if he had a gf and he said no… then the girl and him kissed…. mina inside was burning…. she angrily left… she drove to her house and just took the knife and waited till her boyfriend went home….. she went to his house and he opened the door…..

“how could you love thta girl when you have me?” mina
“what do you mean? yor the only one i love”
“no im not i saw you today kissing that girl”mina
“what were you doing at work?”
“see you dont love me”mina
“im sorry mina please—-”
“NO ive been hurt to many times my heart has been crushed and minced and its not gone.. i wanted to love you i thought u loved me but i was wrong….”mina
“no but–….”
“i dont wanna hear it.. i just want you to know i love you”mina

she then took out the knife and slit her throat… he ran to the phone and called 911 and then minas body fell to the cold dead floor as she passed away….

 

sup people my mom came back this morning!! w00t!!! lol well umm im home now as my parents are out at downtown eating vietnamese noodles a.k.a Pho… its pretty good lol well my mom got soo much stuff seriously she got stuff for my cell and my dads cell she got me blankets like i got this weird teddy bear blanket its kinna girly but hey tis comfy and nice…. lol well umm she got me this teddy bear kine pillow things its soft…. lol well she got me a lot of korean music too like shinwa boa hyo lee and stuff and she got me techno and korean metal!!!! whoo hoo!! it rox… lol well ummm yea… im just home waiting till its 2 pm so i can watch matrix and stuff so yea… ill post a msg lata!!! w00tz ahnyoung!!! bye ppl p4yc3

______________________________________________________________________

hey people i got back from the movies and it was okay not that bad it was pretty gad but i mean bad as in like a good way… lol wlel it was really action packed if u the kine person hu likes war movies kine i think u will like diss not too much romance in this and ummm its action packed not as boring as the 1st and 2nd one so yea….. lol just telling ppl out there hu read my site to watch it i know tis expensive like wut $8? lol but just go its a good movie and u shuld see it….

ok lol now im gonna be yelling at jimmy ….. u freaking idiot jimmy u said u gonna call at 2 to tell me when we gonna go movies for the party thing and u dont freaking call wuts up wit dat?! wth seriously man wth is up wit dat? damnit.. well i went anyways with michael and isaac well lol……

list of movies i want to see…….

butterfly efect
the last samurai
elf
texas chainsaw massacre <-- again
gothika
resident evil 2 apocalypse
return of the king
spider man 2

there were more but i 4got… damnit!!! lol well ummm here is soemthign else too

tv shows to watch…..

body guard
summer scent
yellow hankerchief

etc.. more but to hard to remember well heres a pic of something i got back from korea!!!

hi people today is thursday and its 10:30 and ive been crying now cause of some drama like rela drama like extreme kine stuff and the thing that sucks is it was with the girl i love… and im like soo sad now…. crap… i couldnt stop crying but now i think shes ok and im happy…. i cant imagine losing her i dont think i could live if i lost her…. i would rather die than to lose her.. god damn man i love her… thing is she doesnt see that and im kinna sad.. i just wnana tell her now that i love her… i never want to lose her… if she leaves i dont think i wanna live any more…. so id rather kill myself…

i got my scorpian knife and my tiger shark knife

also my glock 17 with 9mm bullets damn man a clip is like 17 bullets each clip is like $25 damn!!!

well i just wanna say i love you and if your reading this you know hu u r…. well i gotta sleep now cause im like tired well bye!!

                                                                      

blue flames and biohazard pretty nice

hey people about time i do a entry thats like full of pics and stuff!! lol well here it is!!

as you guys know i like computer games!! i like counter strike a lot too!! lol well here are some pics of it and some funny comics of it…

well this aint cs but looks like it!! lol

whoo wut the hell is that a cartoon in cs?!

whoo it is a cartoon in cs!!! weird…

k now how is he holding 2 gernades?!?! to ppl hu dont play counter strike in the game you only can hold one so this is like very weird…

WUT  THE FUCK IS THIS?!

BRING ON THE COMICS!!!!

lol this one is funny!!!

lol this is wut team killers get!!!

now this one is just plain dumb if u didnt notice its showing diff ways u can use commands that they use in cs

k u cant read it but this one is like thid the counter terrorist has the hostages the t’s come to get him and does his spray paint and cause his spray is the hosty zone the hostages get rescued and the t’s are saying CHEATER

now the next thing is cars!! hell yea

damn nice evo yea?

nice galardo!!

RX-7!!!!!!

 nice ass wrx

wut comes next? maybe swat?

 damn kill him!!!

damn nice m4′s….

of course gotta have the shield in the front

and hmm gotta have the guns and weapons!!

nice eh?

nice yea? its  a scorpian blade

tiger shark blade

you cant forget the closet of rifles you know the usual…. ak-47 , m4a1, famas, automatic sniper rifle , m-16, h&k , and the famous pump shotgun

well wut comes next? maybe the rest of the stuff that makes me!!! like comp designing and raves and techno!!!

when angels fall….

wow thats prettyful

if you could breath once more….

face the fury face the pain

wut is that?

weird…

lost in atlantis

whoo !!! hooo kix ass

its love….. i like this pic!!!

well here are some pics of me and my friends these are our fave pics!!

well i think thats all…. damn this entry took like freaking an hour to do cause i hate to find the pic then put it in then do it again and again for like forever

well yea im doing  okay today besides the fact that ims till sick but im still going to skoo tomorrow!! well oo yea i forgot one more pic!!

AND HERES JOSH!!!!

leave some props plz